I'm Sorry, What In Hell's Name Is Happening!
by Whiteskin and Darklips
Summary: Sequel to How In Hell's Name Did This Happen! Previously, Kendall was caught up in a strange situation. This time the entire band, and Katie, is in for a fantastical ride.
1. Chapter 1: Wings

I'm Sorry, What In Hell's Name Is Happening?

_Nope, I, Whiteskin and Darklips, still do not own the band (or the show)_ Big Time Rush._ I'm not making money off of this, it's merely for entertainment of any readers and myself._ NONE OF THE FOLLOWING IS TRUE! EVEN IF THE STORY SAYS IT'S TRUE, IT'S JUST THE PRODUCT OF MY IMAGINATION! Read on…

"_Once upon a time..."_

_That's how you'd think a story like this might start, what with the involvement of magic and other fantastical elements. To the contrary, I must note, because every event in this story is true. I know what you're thinking, it's just some literary device being used to draw you into the story, but I swear this is not so. I didn't believe it myself at first, but I have no choice but to do so now. All the facts are unquestionable, and I, Logan Mitchell, must admit that the following story is real._

_This whole thing started back about a year ago when my best friends and I first met Kira, Elysia, and Elysia's mother. Because Kira and Kendall kept fighting with each other, they ended up switching bodies, and Kira had to use a spell to switch them back. Kendall wound up with the powers of a fire mage, which has been really interesting to deal with. Then, a month ago, Kira and her cousin and aunt left for a long vacation touring parts of Europe and Asia._

_Now…_

"I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS SITTING ON YOUR LUCKY COMB, JAMES!" Carlos's voice could be heard through the closed door of Kendall and Logan's room.

Logan woke up with a groan. He looked over at Kendall's bed, not exactly surprised that the blonde was able to sleep through the racket in the kitchen. Kendall could sleep through almost anything.

Logan moved from their bedroom to their bathroom, stretching out his back, which was feeling sorer than was normal. Standing in front of the mirror he turned around to look at his shoulder blades where dark bruises had inexplicably appeared a few days ago. Logan did a double take. Where the bruises had been, there were two, small, dark spines. Slowly stretching one hand behind his back, Logan fingered one of the spines. He could have sworn it was actually made of bone.

"JAMES! CARLOS! STOP FIGHTING!" Mrs. Knight's voice cut through Logan's reverie.

A few seconds later there was a loud knock on Logan and Kendall's bedroom door.

"WAKE UP BOYS! BREAKFAST IS READY!"

Logan went to the bathroom doorway, pulling on his shirt, and watched as Kendall shifted awake to the sound of his mother's voice.

"Did I hear something about food?" he asked.

"Of course you wake up to that, but not James and Carlos fighting," Logan shook his head as he opened their door.

At the counter James, Carlos, and Katie were already stuffing their faces with pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Logan and Kendall eagerly joined them.

"Whoa, Baby Sister, slow down!" Kendall said as Katie pulled three more pancakes on to her plate, which was already half full with eggs.

"She's already eaten five!" Carlos whined.

"Hey! I'm a growing girl!" she defended.

"And we're four growing boys," Logan said as he grabbed five pancakes for himself, along with a healthy ration of bacon, "You need to share with us."

"Seriously," Kendall said through a mouthful of eggs.

"Shut up and eat your eggs!"

"Katie!" Mrs. Knight shouted.

Katie pulled a half apologetic face then continued to scarf down her pancakes. Ten to fifteen minutes later all the food was gone and the five teenagers picked up the dishes to clean.

"Good grief!" Mrs. Knight said, while eating a bowl of chocolate Special K, "The way you five have been eating lately, I'm surprised that you haven't started in on the furniture!"

"Maybe its like Logan said, Mom, and we're all going through another growth spurt," Kendall said evenly.

"At the same time?" Mrs. Knight asked, a bit incredulously.

"Stranger things have happened," Kendall protested.

"True," she said, remembering when her son was a girl.

Then she let the subject drop, "I need you all to go get your dirty clothes, towels, and bed sheets. I'm doing laundry today."

It was an odd day that Gustavo actually didn't want them in the studio. Something about a new singer being added to the label. Lots of meetings and contracts to go through, not something that Big Time Rush wanted to be around. So the morning found them lying in their favorite lounge chairs by the pool.

Logan noticed, that, though all four of them were in swim trunks, they all had t-shirts on as well. Even James, who would do anything to show off his 'perfect' six-pack abs, had one on. Then he noticed Katie, who was in the water, had a shirt on over her suit. That was especially strange. Mrs. Knight may have insisted that Katie wore a modest one-piece, but she never even mentioned having her wear a baggy shirt on over it. A second look revealed it to be one of Kendall's shirts.

"Hey Kendall," when he received a noncommittal grunt from him, Logan continued, "Did you know that Katie's wearing one of your shirts?"

"So?"

Logan looked over to see Kendall with his eyes closed. He was probably half asleep, and, more than likely, partially annoyed that Logan had interrupted his nap. Though Logan wasn't exactly surprised that Kendall wasn't upset that Katie had borrowed one of his shirts. A lot of their clothes, okay mainly shirts, switched persons from time to time. It happened.

"She's wearing it in the pool."

Kendall's eyes snapped open, frantically searching the pool for his sister.

"Katie!" he shouted, once he'd found her.

She looked up, "What?"

"What're you doing wearing my shirt _in_ the pool?"

Katie looked guilty but didn't say anything.

"Katie, take my shirt off now, please," Kendall said.

Katie shook her head.

"Then get out of the pool. I'd rather the chlorine didn't ruin the print, it's one of my favorite shirts."

Katie pushed herself out of the pool and stomped past the boys.

"You could have handled that better, she is a fourteen-year-old girl," Logan said.

Kendall looked off in the direction that Katie went. He sighed.

"You're right. She's upset, and I should go apologize," he stood.

"Wait! Before we go, you should know that I think something's been bothering her quite a while longer than just you yelling at her for wearing your shirt in the pool," Logan stood as well.

"We? You didn't make her angry," Kendall cocked an eyebrow.

The two walked towards the lobby.

"I'm curious as to what is making her act weird, and it may not be something she wants to talk to her big brother about."

"Dude, you, James, and Carlos are practically her big brothers too," Kendall said in rebuttal.

"But I'm not quite as overprotective about her as you are…and James. That one time was really weird…"

They walked up the stairs quietly for a moment while they remembered the time that James had nearly ruined Katie's 'date' with that one kid. Logan and Kendall started laughing at the same time.

Arriving at their apartment door, Logan opened it, and Kendall pushed past, calling out, "Katie! I'm sorry!"

However, the living room was empty. When they cautiously came to her bedroom door, it was halfway open, and they could see Katie's bare back as she was holding Kendall's shirt as if she'd only pulled it off a few seconds ago. Both boys gasped.

"Katie," Kendall said in sympathy, or perhaps it was empathy, Logan wasn't for sure yet.

Katie turned around a slightly guilty look on her face.

"I'm sorry about your shirt, big brother."

"Who cares about my shirt, I had no idea—" Kendall's voice broke off.

Katie's eyes widened in shock, as if just remembering, "D-d-don't tell mom!"

Determined Logan grabbed near the hem of his shirt behind his back. Shoving it past his shoulder blades, he turned around exposing the newly formed spines.

If possible, Katie's eyes widened even more, and Kendall's bugged out.

"Oh my gosh…I'm not the only one?" Katie asked hesitantly.

"No, though judging from what I saw on your back, you might be developing whatever these things are faster than I am," Logan answered.

"And me," Kendall quietly added.

Both Katie and Logan looked at Kendall. Unlike Logan, Kendall completely pulled his shirt off before exposing his back to them. However, like Logan, he had small, dark spines protruding from his shoulder blades.

Logan stepped closer to Katie, "May examine your—"

Katie nodded. Logan knelt down and his right hand hovered a few inches in front of her shoulder. Tenuously grasping it, he peered at the two five inch boney structures that jutted out from her upper back. Small, wispy things grew from the spines. They looked like—

"Feathers. Oh my god, I think we're growing wings!" Logan barely breathed, yet both of the siblings heard him.

~',~ ~',~ ~',~

Kendall, Logan, and Katie, having gotten over the initial shock, were now spying on Carlos and James at the pool. The reason being, Logan had noticed they were also behaving in similar ways to them, most specifically, the hiding of their backs.

"See, I told you, they're both wearing t-shirts with their swimming trunks. James never does that, he has to show off his washboard abs. It's in his nature," Logan whispered.

"Yeah, but how are we going to get them to reveal their backs to us? Without freaking them out," Kendall questioned.

"Impossible," Katie said.

Logan looked between the siblings then back at James and Carlos.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but maybe we should just grab them and drag them back to the apartment," he said.

Kendall looked at his friend, shocked.

"Perhaps, but we could also ambush them when they go back to the apartment on their own," Katie stated logically.

"Yeah, that sounds better," Logan felt relieved.

~',~ ~',~ ~',~

Katie was in her room, but Kendall and Logan were in the main room of the apartment, waiting for James and Carlos to come back. It was nearly lunchtime, they wouldn't have to wait too much longer.

When the door opened, several things happened. One, Katie walked out of her room, because she was hungry. Two, James and Carlos were wondering aloud where their friends had disappeared to and why. Three, Kendall and Logan jumped on top of James and Carlos, effectively incapacitating them.

There was some shouting and hitting as the clump of boys rolled around on the floor. When Kendall and Logan finally pulled away, panting, they had triumphant looks upon their faces, and James and Carlos's shirts in their hands.

"What the HELL, MAN!" James shouted at Kendall.

He tried to steal back his shirt, but Kendall danced around him to take a look at his shoulder blades.

Ignoring James's attempt to hide his back, Kendall said, "Yep, he's got 'em too, Logan."

"Carlos does too," Logan nodded.

"What is going on? That's what I want to know!" Carlos yelled.

He successfully snatched his shirt from Logan.

"Me too," James said.

Katie stepped up to the group.

"Logan seems to think that we're all growing wings. Though, I have to admit, it seems to be the only possibly explanation," she said.

James and Carlos stood there dumbfounded for a minute.

"All of us?" James asked hesitantly.

"All of us," Kendall affirmed, pulling his own shirt off.

Logan followed his example, but Katie just pulled the back of hers over her shoulders, back turned to the group.

"So, we're growing wings," Carlos said, dazedly.

~',~ ~',~ ~',~

_I swear, I'm not sure how I managed to think when reading this chapter, after having set it aside for months, that this would make the perfect sequel for _How In Hell's Name Did This Happen? _But after tweaking it a bit to make it feel like it fits into that story and adding on a few paragraphs to finish the _short_ chapter, it doesn't look half bad, in my own opinion. Please let me know what you think._


	2. Chapter 2: Return

_I have no ownership of _BTR_. I just like to write, and this particular work is just for enjoyment, no profit.  
Whiteskin and Darklips_

It had been a few weeks since the discovery, and, for the most part, the boys and Katie were taking things well in stride. Sure, they were eating way more than normal, and they wore tons of layers to hide what was rapidly growing from their shoulder blades, but other than that, the boys were recording like usual, and Katie was her usual business woman self. Well, during the day. At night, it was painful. Growing pains in their backs kept them tossing and turning at all hours. Sometimes even a muffled moan would escape someone's lips.

Needless to say, though everyone was excited, they were also exhausted. Excited, because they were at the airport waiting for Elysia, Kira, and Elysia's mom, who were finally coming back from Europe.

Kendall scanned the airport for a familiar black head. _I wonder if Kira knows anything about growing wings. Should I even tell her?_ Kendall shook his head. That was wrong, he should have thought should the group tell the entire mage family. It went without saying that the three women were rather familiar with lots of strange and unusual things, Kendall was learning a lot about those things, but would they know anything about humans growing wings?

That was when he saw Mrs. Ivory. She wasn't hard to spot, with her pure white hair, even though she looked to be only about twenty-five. Reality was, she was much older.

Kendall waved, "Over there, it's them!"

He pointed, so the rest of the group could see them. Everyone showed their excitement as they moved towards the three women. Next to Mrs. Ivory was Elysia, who had her corn silk hair drawn up into a twist. But Kendall's eyes were drawn to the girl standing next to Elysia. He was slightly shocked. When she'd left, Kira was the palest girl on the planet, Kendall had no doubts. Even though she'd been living in LA, the amount of sun she'd gotten didn't seem to affect her pallor. Now, it seems the European sun had more effect, for beneath her soot colored hair and around her onyx eyes, Kira was light brown. Sure, if her skin tone was compared to Carlos's deep Latin coloring, she wouldn't have the darker skin, but it was pretty drastic for her.

Kira noticed Kendall staring and smiled at him. The brilliance of her white teeth set off her tan even more. She dropped her bag and moved over to him.

"Long time, no see, huh, Kendall," she smiled again.

Kendall's thoughts were slightly fuzzy as he nodded, trying to wrap his head around Kira's new appearance.

"How-uh, um—" he mumbled, trying to work around his tongue.

"I'm doing wonderful, thank you for the attempt at asking," she teased.

"No, um, I mean, you're so tan," Kendall finally got it out, "For you, I mean."

"Oh," her smile dropped for a second in surprise, before it snuck back across her face, "We were outside pretty much twenty-four-seven, we were backpacking after all. You should have seen me at about the third day in, I was as red as a lobster!"

"Oh," Kendall said.

"You know, Kendall, I can show you pictures of that," Elysia butt in.

"Oh really?" Kira challenged.

"Yeah, I got lots of you. Particularly on that day, because I thought it was hilarious," Elysia said.

"I don't doubt the existence of the pictures. I know you took them, but you seem to be under the impression that I'm going to allow you to show them off," Kira smiled, slightly evilly.

"Oh, I'd like to see you try to stop me," Elysia seemed to get in a battle pose.

Kira imitated her, but before anything could happen, Mrs. Ivory stepped in.

"Girls, go pick up your backpacks. This is neither the time nor the place to start a fight," she said.

~',~ ~',~ ~',~

They were back in 2J, once the three had dropped off their baggage in their own apartment. Chinese containers were strewn surfaces across the main room. Kendall looked over at Kira next to him as she and Elysia were talking about one of their more 'insane' adventures.

"…but some how, not even batting an eye, Kira gives this guy the most deprecating look I've ever seen and tells him to go wank himself, because that was all the action he would ever get with a prick that small. I swear, it was hilarious!" Elysia laughed.

The group of teenagers laughed with her. But Kendall felt slightly uncomfortable

"In my defense, I really didn't see any other option. Seriously, what would you do if some guy walked up to you on a nudist beach in Italy and started flirting with you?" Kira held her hands up in innocence.

"Good point," Elysia allowed, "Except, I was hit on by a naked guy too. Once he put some pants on, he really wasn't that bad of a date."

Kendall noticed that Logan turned his head sharply towards Elysia in surprise. _Hmm. What's going on in your head, Logie?_ Kendall thought.

"Oh please," Kira rolled her eyes, "That boy was only changing when you ran into him. Granted, it was into a speedo, but he only asked you out in apology. And he insisted that you drag your 'sister' with you. I can't believe you didn't correct him, and tell him I'm your cousin!"

Logan seemed to relax. _Could Logan have a crush—Nah, I'm probably reading way too much into this, _Kendall rolled his eyes at himself.

"Whatever. What I don't understand was how you could think that other guy's nether regions were small," Elysia said, "He wasn't horribly proportioned."

Kendall tensed, even though he already knew Kira had dismissed the jerk. Wait, why did he even care?

"I won't deny that Naked Guy wasn't as tiny as I told him he was, but he was a total asshole! And an exhibitionist," Kira added as an after thought, "I could tell he was trying to get a reaction from me by coming up to me like that. I was just depriving him of that very reaction. So what if he was naked and fairly well built muscularly? I've seen better."

It was quiet for a second, as Kira brought her chopsticks to her mouth. Elysia looked at her cousin weirdly.

"Where in Death's name have YOU seen better? Granted there weren't some half bad looking guys at that beach, but none of them were really _better_ than Naked Guy," Elysia challenged.

Kira was silent as she chewed her food. _Elysia has a point. Where in hell's name has…wait, oh damn. She couldn't mean…_Kendall blushed lightly.

Kira swallowed, "If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm not about to tell you."

She didn't bat an eyelash as she said it. Kendall didn't know whether to be horribly embarrassed or flattered if what he thought was true.

"I feel like going for a swim. Anyone want to join me?" Kira asked, calmly.

There was a clamor as the teenagers got up to go put on swimsuits.

~',~ ~',~ ~',~

Immediately when the boys got down to the pool, they noticed Kira springing off of the diving board into a smooth flip before slipping into the water. Instead of getting into the water, they sat down in their favorite beach chairs.

Kendall had his eyes closed, enjoying the momentary peace, yet sweating uncomfortably. The next moment, something cold and wet, pressed down on his face and chest, suppressing his lungs and permeating his top. His eyes flew open, and Kira was standing over him with a bucket in her hands. He sat up.

"What the Hell, Kira?" he gasped.

"You looked like you were dying of heat, so I thought I'd cool you off," she smirked.

"Why you evil little—" Kendall started.

"For that matter, why in Death's Name are you even wearing a sweatshirt to the pool when it's ninety degrees outside?" Kira asked, sitting down next to him.

Kendall sat silently, trying not to look at his friends, who'd worn similar tops.

Kira continued, "And I thought you came down to swim, not sit on a chair."

Kendall was thinking hard, _Should I tell her? Would she laugh at me? Of course she's going to laugh, it's Kira. But why should that matter to me?_

Apparently Kendall sitting in thought wasn't good enough for Kira, so she decided to take action.

"Come on, let's get that shirt off of you before you really do die of heat," she moved her hands towards the hem of his sweatshirt.

Kendall sprang up and backed away from Kira, "NO!"

_Not in front of all these people,_ he thought.

Kira looked shocked.

"Kendall, is everything okay?" she asked, concerned.

Kendall looked at his friends, who were now watching. Logan shrugged.

His eyes seemed to say, "They'll probably find out eventually, so why not tell her now?"

Kendall nodded. Then he grabbed Kira's hand and pulled her away from the pool.

In the lobby, Kira asked, "Kendall?"

But Kendall just continued to pull her, into a supply closet. Kira felt around, bumped into Kendall, then found the light switch and turned it on.

"Seriously, what is going on?" she asked.

Kendall took a deep breath.

"'," he rushed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," she furrowed her eyebrows.

Kendall looked at her, then turned around and pulled off his soaked hoodie.

"Oh," she said, "Well that explains things."

Kendall turned back around and looked at her as if she were crazy.

"How can you be so nonchalant about this?" he exclaimed.

"Oh, please, like it's anything new to me. I'm just surprised that it didn't start sooner," she shook her head.

"Oh sur—wait, WHAT?" Kendall was beyond confused now.

"Growing wings is a natural part of being a mage," Kira explained, "Granted, it doesn't happen to every mage, but a lot do have wings."

"If that's true, then where are your wings?" Kendall accused, looking at her in her bikini top and swim trunks.

_Now that I think about it, what an odd choice of swimsuit, but hell, it _is_ Kira,_ Kendall thought.

"Did you really think that there isn't a spell to hide wings? After all, I can, and did, switch our bodies back. It's so much easier to just make something disappear, at least temporarily," Kira shook her head again.

"Oh," Kendall was speechless for a moment.

_Why didn't I think of that? I'm sure, if I'd been thinking, I would have had Logan help me look through the books that Kira and Elysia left behind during their vacation for me to study a bit._

"Okay, but, I do have two more questions," Kendall said.

"I'm listening," Kira said.

Kendall started, "First of all, if it's normal for mages, then why are James, Logan, Carlos, and even my sister all growing wings as well? Seco—"

"Wait, what?" Kira interjected.

Surprise was written across her face.

"All five of us—" Kendall tried.

"I heard you, I just need a minute to think, and let it sink in," she interrupted again, "Hmm, they could be developing mage powers as well, it's not unusual. Especially since they are constantly around residual magic. It could trigger that part of their mind and awaken their powers."

"But they haven't done anything like setting a sound board on fire," Kendall objected.

"That doesn't necessarily mean my hypothesis is incorrect," Kira said.

"But—" Kendall started.

"Do you really want to argue with me, Kendall," Kira gave him a meaningful look.

Kendall shivered, remembering.

"Now, what was your second question?"

"Right, um, can I see your wings?" Kendall asked.

"Not right now, unless you want to get hit," Kira said.

"What?" Kendall said, confused.

"We're in a closet, Kendall," Kira stated, one eyebrow raised, "A full grown set of wings have a wingspan of twice the person's height."

"Right," Kendall nodded.

"Turn around," Kira said.

"What?"

"Turn around."

"Why?" Kendall asked as he turned.

"I'm going to make your wings disappear, you dolt!" Kira said.

"Right," Kendall nodded again.

As Kira touched the miniature wings on Kendall's back, Kendall realized, _I'm in a closet. With a girl. What the hell will people think when we walk out? _He blushed, suddenly self-conscious of how close Kira was to him.

"Okay, go," Kira said suddenly.

"What?" Kendall was confused.

Kira rolled her eyes, "Go back to the pool. I'll be there in a minute."

Kendall tried to look behind him, but at least he didn't feel the tiny wings on his back anymore.

"They're gone, go," Kira sounded exasperated.


End file.
